So, school is kiscking my butt here. I am totally lost in many of my classes, and not because they're in German. Because of how my school is set up in Ohio I am kinda screwed science wise. In Ohio you take one science class a year (main science, excluding extra classes like Field Bio and Human anat.) so, last year I had a whole year of Bio, this year I would have had a whole year of Chem, and next year I will have physics. But here, in Germany, everyone has Bio, Chem, Phy, and NWT every year. NWT is 1\3 of the year chem, 1\3 bio, and 1\3 phy. So, I know everything we're learning in Bio, chem is ok, and I have chem NWT, which is also ok, but I know nothing in my physics class. And, my math class here is super hard. So, I have been talking to my teachers and we're deciding what to do. Basically, I am going to learn other math and for physics... I don't need to learn it, so idk.
I have had many freak outs. Freak outs meaning crying. I thought I was through with them but another one came today after a freakishly hard math class. My friends in the class couldn't even help me, they didn't understand it either.
I hate crying at all, esp at school. Today wasn't the first time. It's just hard for me because I'm a perfectionist and don't want to fall behind in school. So, I am getting a special math ''program'' to learn this year, and the rest, we'll see. I mean, some classes are pointless. Like German politics. Yeah... ummm. I guess it's good to know but it's hard and complicated and taught to me in German, so I'm not really picking much up.
I am just having a hard time with school. People are helping me and my teachers are flexible. I don't have to do all the homework, I'm not taking tests yet, and I don't have to take notes in all my classes, although I try to.
It's just all very complicated. I am trying to be chill, and not stress, it's just hard for me. It's hard to say ''that's enough'' and letting things go. Or saying to myself ''you don't understand this right now''. I just hope I will.
I am getting better at German. Tomorrow marks the day of my third week of school. I am understanding alot more, my mouth just hasn't caught up to my brain yet. I can understand a lecture in Chem but I can't jump into my friend's conversations. *sigh* it's frustraiting. I need to be more patient!!! It's just hard. Everything is very hard.
Now for the good things:
I am experiencing a ton of things here! I picked elderberries and learned how to make elderberry and plum jam. I picked apples and pears, I saw my host sister at her horseback riding gymnastics class (yes... there is such a thing. They do crazy things on a moving horse), I am in band here (I play French Horn), I am starting a yoga class (8 week class) tonight, I went to an adult choir practice with my host mom, I went to choir at the school last week, I went to Kultur Nacht in Ulm (a night of performers), I watched Harry Potter 3 in German :D ha ha. I love HP. And I'm starting to read little books in German. I can understand more little picture books and soon I will be reading small chapter books for children.
So, it's going both well and horrible. School is hard and stressful but I like being home and doing cool things on the weekends. I just need to chill at school. Let it go. I know I'm not just here for school. I'm here to experience alot, learn German, assimilate, etc.
I'm working on it!!!
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